Category: Relationships


Thank you all for the kind comments about my dog Molly that I had to put down several weeks ago.  I still catch myself looking for her running up the driveway to greet me when I would get home. I wanted to share the photo of Molly’s grave site and how we have made a small flower bed out of it in her honor.

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As I make this post my lab mix dog (Molly) is outside my kitchen door crying because it wants to come in, but she needs to stay outside to do its “potty business”.  Anyway, we live on 2 1/2 acres which is not fenced so I would just let her out and she would stay in the yard and I would let her back in.  In the last few years we had some neighbors move in that are retired and I noticed that Molly would not come back in right away so I figured out she had walked next door.  I began to see food items appear in my backyard that I had not seen before and concluded my neighbors were feeding Molly.  My neighbor likes to fish so I would find cut and cleaned fish, meat wrappers, one time it was a whole frozen block of hamburger, and just the other day I opened door and in the garage was a whole raw steak!!  These people throw their old food out in the yard and Molly wanders over there to eat it!!  I was unaware of this until I began to see the signs I mentioned above so I have started to keep a closed eye on Molly and bring her into the house more frequently.

I am trying to find a diplomatic way to approach this as I do not have a fenced yard and Molly is able to wander next door but I did not have this problem until they started feeding her.  I don’t get why they just throw food into the backyard!! I say just put it in the garbage! I don’t understand these people who just can’t throw things away.  I like my neighbors and we get a long I just don’t want my dog to get sick let alone die from eating this garbage! It is like when someone wants to give me furniture or clothes and we take it and it is junk or wore out and I kick myself for taking it and now “I have to throw it our or give it away.   My advice is that if it is garbage throw it out, if something you have is still usable give it to Goodwill or some other organization.

My Dog

Molly in the Kitchen waiting for a “healthy snack”!!

I have posted about our dance lessons and meeting new people and how fun this and got me to thinking about this and how we have been treated by some church members in the past in comparison to how we have been treated by our new relationships in the last few years.  For starters this is not a slam on the Church as I am a Christian, served on committees, attending regularly etc… all my life so my view is from extensive experience.  When we began to take our lessons and go to the local “honky-tonk” several people came right up to talk with us, within a few months we were invited with the group to a cookout, we went to the gun range together etc… and have made some good friends.  A few months later we met a different set of couples and within a few months they were inviting us to go on their out-of-town dance trips they had been taking together for several years and accepted us into their group which I thought was awesome.

In comparison to some church’s I have attended there are group’s already established and they do not want to let you in. Or, some people are self-righteous because they think you don’t attend enough and judge you for it.  Of all places where you should be included and not judged for things out of your control is in your Church!! I hope people who call themselves Christians really think this is ok?? The Church is not a country club for certain people to decide if they are good enough to be included or not.  It is sad that I can meet people who are not regular church attenders treat me better than some I have gone to Church with and it should not be this way. Then some wonder why Church attendance is dropping in this country and can’t figure out why.  We all can make mistakes and not realize what our attitude can do someone else, but if you did make an honest mistake then own up to it and try not to do it again, but don’t continually have a sorry attitude towards someone else especially in Church and if you are a Christian.

I was out with our group of friends last night for dancing and there is one man who attends that lives in our area while his family lives 7 hours away.  He will dance with the different ladies at the club and a few in particular on a regular basis.  I talk with him and we are friends and says he works here in the medical field and says he can’t find a job in the city he is from which is much larger than ours.  This person attends this club 3-4 nights a week while his wife takes care of the kids back home.  This seems odd to me but I do not judge or condemn anyone as this is his business.  But the reason I bring it up is because there apparently has been a change in the last few weeks.

Several weeks ago he said his wife called stressed out about the kids and he was upset saying about this.  Last week he left early and the last night he was not even there and some said the wife has put and end to “honky tonkin”!!  I am not picking on this person but I post this to make point in relation to the title of my post. This person seemed to be interested in himself and claiming “I just want to have a good time”.  Maybe not even thinking about the toll these decision were having on his family.  Sometimes we all can get caught up in “ourselves” and not take the time to think about others especially in our family situations.  When we only think about ourselves this can lead to conflict and sometimes years of separation and disconnect from those around us.

To me this is a good lesson, when the “red alert” is going off about the way you are acting then stop and listen to the alert it could save you a lot of grieve and headache down the road!

I have posted about the dance lessons I have been taking and then going out on the weekend to practice what I have learned.  Now you have to understand that in order to practice what you have learned it is necessary to visit the local “honky-tonk” or other “venues” and these are places that I had not frequented often on my past.  However, in addition to learning to dance which I have observed are “a complex set of variables that take time to master” I have also enjoyed one of my favorite things to do which is watching the interaction of other people.  I like to call myself a “practiced observer” and it has served me very well.

Anyway, to the point of my title.  I notice in the setting outlined above there are many singles and I am not talking about twentysomethings, but the people my age in their 40’s-50’s and trying to find a partner or significant other.  In this one scenario I have observed there is this one dude that comes in (I will call him B) and sometimes he is with a female (I will call her P).  He never smiles and if we take a group lesson he is with P away from the group, he looks kinda like he is in a bad mood or something.  I have danced and talked with P and she is easy-going and seems to have a sweet personality.  Me and some of the others have heard how her partner talks to her about doing a dance move incorrectly being critical and disrespectful!!

If this was something serious or a million dollars on the line then maybe this would be acceptable but it is dancing for crying out loud!!  I don’t understand why she would let him talk to her like this over something where you are supposed to be having fun!!  I have others I have observed as well and will post on those later but this situation is the most recent event that came to my attention.

So my point is this, while it takes time to get to know someone I believe “your gut” will let you know sooner than later if this person is right for you.  I would address this to the ladies since this is what I have observed.  You do not need to settle for someone like this just to have somebody!!  You don’t need (usually a male) to disrespect you and try to manipulate you!!  Take your time and wait for the right person, deep down you know right off if this person is ok.  If not then move on!! Life is too short to be mistreated by another person.

As a “practiced observer” I will post on other people I have observed so we can all try to figure out why we do the things we do or at least try not to keep doing the wrong things over and over!