This issue has been going on for some time but since there might be a resolution I wanted to post about it.  My 19-year-old son has been having issues with his girlfriend off and on for the last 3 years. It seems to have come to a breaking point as she has been away at school and he has stayed in the area. We were working out at the gym together regularly until October of last year when he was not making it in and I suspected it had something to do with her.  We all know there are ups and downs in teenage relationships so I won’t re-hash all of them here, but we could tell this was not a good situation for him by being with her.  We had all the talks over the last few years about why he should move on etc… but you all know how it is, until you find out for yourself you kind of don’t listen to anyone.

Well he showed up at the gym tonight and said she had texted saying it was over and not to talk to her anymore. He told me about talking with his friends and trying to get it off his chest as I would want him to.  If you have children and especially at this age you worry about them getting depressed and have read about these kids committing suicide over relationships.  I told him tonight that he really needs to stay broken up this time.  I said that if you get a text from her( “don’t answer it”) call/text your friends, brother me or mom because he didn’t need to go back down that road.   I told him that the feelings he has for her is like an addiction because every time this happens and she texts he starts talking to her and the cycle starts all over.  I told him he is just a teenager and has not figured all this stuff out yet, but I said take this and learn from it and if you are presented with this type of situation again you can remove yourself from it before you get it to deep.  I told him that people who truly care about another person don’t treat them the way she has been treated. We hugged and I left and he went to run around the track.

I found that in this stage of life that I am here to offer advice to my kids and as they are becoming adults I don’t demand or tell them what to do like we did when they were kids.  I kind of like this stage of life, not trying to show how much I know but being able to share my experience to help them think through how they should make their decisions and  hopefully it  turns out to be the right one!!

I am out of time tonight, but tomorrow I want to add the example I gave to help him win this battle with this emotions.